Elite Singles was the first website I tackled in my online dating venture, and the process of signing up was far more extensive than I thought it would be. Gone are the days when online dating sites would ask you for little more than your name, age, occupation, and photo.
After answering question upon question about my personal history, life aspirations, relationship goals, hobbies, hopes, and dreams, I discovered that Elite had generated a detailed personality profile of me based on my answers (for instance, I am far more inventive than habitual.) The website even tells you how your personality compares to other members (apparently, I am more likely to experiment than 89% of Elite members.)
This personal analysis really made Elite Singles appeal to me, not because the website is telling me anything about myself that I don’t already know, but because it gives me a lot more insight into my prospective dates’ psyches than I usually receive before a first date. This makes it easier to judge whether or not my “matches” are people I would get along with offline.
Most dating websites now allow you to specify the amount of distance that you are willing to travel for a date. In other words, you can opt to connect with matches within a 50-mile radius, a 100-mile radius, or even just your hometown. Since I initially selected a fairly limited region, it’s no surprise that one of the first men I stumbled upon was somebody I already knew…
…which wouldn’t have been a problem if he didn’t–in turn–stumble upon me.
Meet Mystery Man
“Josh” was a friend of a friend’s ex-boyfriend. I had met him only a handful of times, but that was enough for me to thoroughly dislike him. You see, Josh had this fantastic talent for making the sleaziest of jokes and comments that were always just amusing enough to pass for poor taste rather than outright rudeness.
He also had a habit of saying, “Oh, you’re a feisty one!” to any female who ever expressed the smallest of objections to his behavior.
Josh: hey you =)
I said nothing and hoped that would be the end of it. Blocking him from communicating with me seemed too childish. But two hours later…
Josh: how are you?
Another hour passes.
At that point, I decided that blocking somebody was just as childish as ignoring them but a lot more comfortable. So I blocked him.
I think the incident with Josh had a deep impact on me, not because he was somebody I already knew, but because we matched. As much as I hate to admit it, I combed through Josh’s profile and personality analysis prior to blocking him. I wondered if Josh epitomized the kind of guy I attracted. Was every one of my matches just another Josh? Is that what I had to look forward to?
After much thought, however, I realized that I was being quite dramatic. I was trying to backtrack on my decision to date online based on one silly coincidence. The fact is that online dating is outside my comfort zone, and so my mind was trying to find any excuse not to pursue it.
I did, however, expand the search scope for my matches. After all, refusing to look for love beyond a 50-mile radius is asking for too much convenience out of love.