how to better express yourself in online dating messages

Dating Tips

Written by AdminSeptember 21 ,2016284 Views online dating site

Since the rise of the internet and email, SO much of our human interaction is centered around the written word. On the plus side, people are reading way more than they used to, which makes me happy as a writer. On the other hand, some people do not exactly excel in using this medium to their advantage. Unfortunately, if people glance at your Zoosk and are unimpressed with your communication abilities, they may never meet you in real life and realize what an awesome person you really are. So let’s help you strengthen your writing and messaging game.

Grammar, People!

I cannot stress this enough. Most people are turned off by poor grammar. I’m not talking about the occasional stray typo or the accidental use of “there” instead of “their.” Those mistakes happen. I’m talking about egregious misspellings, lack of punctuation and capitalization, and other glaring demonstrations of disregard for the English language.

“Hi There ☺ How are you? I browzed around and noticed your profile which got my interest as I like your profile you sound very intersting and look cute. I want a relationship to last so if your looking for that as well i hope you can message back”

There’s so much wrong with this message, but the grammar alone would send me running.

Try to Use Emotional Words

I know it’s not easy to write for a virtual stranger. This is especially true for men, as we aren’t really taught to express our feelings well. But if you only use logical, direct words, you won’t inspire any emotion.

No: “On the weekends, I like to go hiking.”

Yes: “I’m always happy when I can escape the city and relax in the beauty of nature.”

Be Careful About Teasing

Yes, teasing is fun and flirty, but when it’s read in the stark black and white of an online message, it can easily be misconstrued. It’s far more difficult for readers to discern your tone, and words that might sound playful in person can sound downright mean online. Sure, you’re just joking around when you poke fun at her love of Justin Bieber, but without the presence of tone and body language, you just sound judgmental and mean. You only have a short time to interact; don’t risk too much.

This is funny because you can see his reaction.

But when you read it online, it can sound more like this:

Make It Easy for Them to Respond

Ideally, you want your back-and-forth interactions to be fun and easygoing. So make it easy for them to respond to you. Now is not the time to get into deep discussions that require a 20-minute email. If they can just fire off a quick response, they are much more likely to keep the conversation going. Remember, they are likely receiving a lot of emails, so if it takes you too long to write back, they might save yours for later and then forget about it.

No: “Yes, weekend was good! I watched the debate and man, I can’t believe this election! So what are your thoughts on immigration reform?”

Yes: “Yes, weekend was good! I watched the debate and man, I can’t believe this election! I had to go cleanse my palate with some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream! What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?”