The online dating story usually goes as follows – you meet online, check out each others profile – send some messages. He’s charming, you’re witty, banter ensues, a first date is planned and expectations are high.
But then when you do meet, the fireworks you expected never really materialize. You’re not blown away, but you’re not turned off either. You inhabit the most difficult spot in a budding relationship – an okay first date that’s left you unsure of how to proceed.
We’re here to help you figure out how to navigate from this point . Answer these questions to figure out if a second date is worth your time.
#1 How Punctual Was Your Date?
Punctuality might seem like an inconsequential aspect of a first date. This isn’t a job interview or the departure gate at an airport, so who cares about a little tardiness?
But for a lot of people punctuality is an indicator of character and how much someone else values you and your time. Being on time shows consideration – and to be late on a first date can be a red flag.
If your date was on time, it shows that person really wanted to be there, and was considerate about your feelings. That’s a good sign!
#2 How Was the Chemistry?
For many people, it’s easier to communicate online, behind the cover of a screen. There’s more time to think about a response and it’s easier to open up and be vulnerable when you’re not looking the other person in the eyes.
Now compare that to a first date – which is usually met with a mixed bag of nerves and anxiety. It’s easy to understand how there could’ve been fireworks online but not offline.
So you have to ask yourself – was there a total lack of chemistry? Or was there just less chemistry than expected? It’s difficult to feel entirely comfortable on a first date – so if there was a hint of chemistry, even if it wasn’t at the level you were expecting, a second date is probably worth trying.
#3 How Was the Eye Contact?
Eye contact reveals a lot about a person. It’s an important indicator of interest, chemistry and comfort. So if your date had a hard time maintaining eye contact, that can be the reason you didn’t feel a connection or chemistry.
#4 Were There Too Many Sexual Innuendos?
Someone who brings up sex or makes too many sexual innuendos on a first date might not be in it for the long haul. That’s fine if you’re looking for something casual, but if you’re looking for something serious, it might be a red flag. It’s good to take note of how your date broaches the subject of sex and physicality. This can include certain looks or touches that might be deemed inappropriate for a first date.
It’s important to be aware of your date’s expectations so you can see if they match up with your own.
#5 How Bored Were You?
You can’t fix boredom. Chemistry or attractiveness is something that can develop over time. But dullness and lame conversation? That’s a big red flag!
You shouldn’t have to pull teeth on a first date. So if the conversation was painfully boring, it’s safe to say you can nix a second date.
#6 How Honest Did Your Date Seem?
Honesty is the foundation of any good relationship, so it’s important to determine from the beginning how truthful your date is. Before the date you probably chatted or emailed and exchanged answers to a bunch of questions – did the conversation on the first date match whatever information you gathered from your preliminary chats?
Consistency is a good metric for how honest your date is overall.
#7 How Comfortable did you feel?
Your gut instincts are usually the best metrics in any situation. So trust your intuition!
It’s also good to ask yourself some valid questions – were you turned off by anything? Were you nervous? Did you feel like you could act like yourself?
However, if you didn’t feel comfortable on date #1 the soul-searching ends there – don’t waste time with date two.
#8 Do the Photos Match the Person?
The photos people post on dating profiles often cover up unflattering aspects their image. If a girl is insecure about her weight, she might post photos of only her face. Or if a guy is bald he might post a photo from a few years back, when his hair was more Samson and less Mr. Clean.
Generally, it’s bad for a relationship to start out with a lie – and posting a photo that’s four years old or a photo that doesn’t resemble what you look like now is the holy grail of lying on an online dating site.
Switch Things Up for Date #2
If you decide to go ahead with the second date, changing locations or activities can be the perfect mix-up to get things going between you and your date. If you went to a coffee shop for date number one try a bar for date two. If you went to a park on the first date try a sports event for the second round. Getting people into different situations can bring out different sides of their personality, so it’s good to switch things up.
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It’s time to get online and find the dating site that’s right for you, so you can find the partner that’s right for you!