Is your online dating profile not generating the results you had hoped for? You may be making one or more of the cardinal mistakes of online dating. There are three main types of archetypal “bad” profiles commonly found on dating sites, and a lot of people inadvertently self-sabotage by not putting their best foot forward. So let’s review the most common mistakes and how to fix them.
The “Direct” Profile
This is the one that just tells it like it is. There is no fluff, no creativity, no….emotion. For example:
“I’m an observer, and I’m really really smart. I’m addicted to cars and food and movies. Guitar is my thing; I like the piano too but I have less experience in that. I am actively into stocks buying and selling; I’m good with money; I like to be well-versed in financial stuff.”
You’ll notice that while there are plenty of personal details, it seems like the person was just spouting information as it came to them.
Try and choose one or two things and go into a little more detail. “I love guitar because it gives me time to relax and get out of my head.”
The “Needy” Profile
The Needy Profile delves less into who you are and more into what you need. It can come across as desperate and, well, needy. For example:
“I need a man that can work hard and play hard. I’m looking for fellow athletes that respect their bodies and don’t pollute them with drugs and alcohol. You must make at least $100k as I make more than that and need you to be able to keep up!”
I came across this profile on Zoosk and it immediately stood out to me…for all the wrong reasons.
Not only is she throwing out a lot of dis-qualifiers, but she sounds negative and needy.
There will be plenty of time to talk about your needs in the future; just don’t do it right up front. “I enjoy working hard and playing hard. I love athletics and thus don’t want to hurt my body with bad food and chemicals.”
The “Confused” Profile
There is usually something that doesn’t quite jive with this type of profile. Either they contradict themselves or you have to re-read a sentence to try and figure out what they are talking about.
“Born and raised in NYC. Graduated with a law major in high school, honor roll and math team. Always done well in school, even told by junior high school has a college reading level. Have some college and 2 computer certifications now working on my career.”
There are a few things going one here that make it confusing. The first is the lack of correct grammar, which is especially jarring when you consider how much the person boasts about their educational achievements. There also seems to be conflicting information. And finally, I had to re-read it two or three times to make sure I understood it. Visitors are reading these profiles quickly, and if you force people to take more time than necessary, they will usually just “swipe left.”
Have someone you trust read it and provide feedback to make it flow better. “I graduated high school with a focus on law and was on the honor roll and the math team.”